Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize
