PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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