on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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