Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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