You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
