Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
