so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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