She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she smelled like a LAN party
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
