Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
