I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
