Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
