oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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