I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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