In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
