Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
