I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she smelled like a LAN party
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
