the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
