Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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