Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
