hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
