covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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