That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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