Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
