I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
