Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
