she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
