I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
