You really coming over, don't trick.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
