Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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