Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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