so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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