We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize