Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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