guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
