So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Found your dick twin last night
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
