the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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