I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
