she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize