can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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