So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
