This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
