Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
