So drunk its hurt
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
