That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
