why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
vagina is talking i cant
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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