is your mom at the bar?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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