At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
