giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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