Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
