Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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