my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
