found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Randomize
