Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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