So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
