names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
