I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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