bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
