i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
