I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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