Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
