no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
