It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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