i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
