Your tits are I can't wait for
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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