Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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