What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
