Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
