i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
