Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
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