i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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