i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
