none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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